Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
