Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Acid is not a monday night drug
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
