This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
