He disabled his match.com account in front of me
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
