had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
