I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize