Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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