she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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