HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
