His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
