I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
