I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
