You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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