Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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