Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
