Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
What a dumb baby whore.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I did not marry a roomba.
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