she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
