Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize