Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
