I'm going to jail i love you
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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