The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Randomize