Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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