I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
