i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
