You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You ate ashes out of my bong
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
