My first STD was from a foam party
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
