dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
