Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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