TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
