Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
