is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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