Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Floor bacon is actually really good
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
