just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
