god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
