Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
