google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
