im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
