i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
