I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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