There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
