You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
