Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She said her name was "party"
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I can't put those talents on a resume
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
