bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She bit a glass in half.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
