Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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