You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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