whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think your dad took our porno
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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