i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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