So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I am available for nakedness
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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