oh god the rape fog is back!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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