i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
