Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
