We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
