Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
