So drunk its hurt
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
