i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
