she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
