i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
