Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
