i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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