he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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