Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
