Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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